This story is my testimony of how, after suffering great personal losses-five family members in two and a half years, including the loss of my spouse of thirty-one years, which was the most devastating loss of all-I was resigned to end my life. My story takes the reader through the darkest moments in dealing with grief and quest for our purpose in life. I wanted to give a raw, honest account of my feelings so I held nothing back. My story will take you through my heartache, pain, and thoughts of suicide with many twists and turns. It also is a story of how God came to me through my grieving process a year and a half after my loss and saved me. Through my testimony, I hope to help others, who have suffered deep, emotional losses, understand that there can be meaning, purpose, and yes, even joy to life with a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ.