The General's first mistake was granting the men of the Kitzingen Area Band leeway to provide a musical background for his exalted command. His second mistake was not establishing someone to keep an eye on us. The company where we billeted were told that we were "hands off," that they were to leave us to our own devices. Corruption naturally followed, helped along by letters and cards from the White House to a tuba player whose farm abutted President Eisenhower's at Gettysburg. Soon the KAB was more a rollicking college frat than a military unit, a close cousin to M*A*S*H. So climb aboard and discover why we were called "The Fucking Band."